You're my little dorito
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
