some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
