Duck Duck Cougar?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
