I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
