Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize