I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
