Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Fuck appropriateness.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
