ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it glows. i had to have it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
That was an excessively violent trivia night
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
