My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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