He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
