She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
