Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
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