I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
either way he was missing a nipple.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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