Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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