am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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