I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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