she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize