It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
