all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
