I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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