Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize