Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
