did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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