i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
