dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
