i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just had sex on a roof
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
