so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
