Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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