I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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