So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Can I color on your dick again?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
