She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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