I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
