two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
