That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
