areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Ambien. No doubt about it.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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