I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
if only i could text you this smell
I understand Curling. That high.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
