No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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