Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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