I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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