if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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