Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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