ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Of course I have a pirate flag
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
