this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
