It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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