I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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