I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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