this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
