Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
