in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
