So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
