sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
