Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
