it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
