i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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