Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize