I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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