It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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