I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I need a burrito and a hug.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize