I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
