No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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