he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
