I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You ate ashes out of my bong
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
