this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
