that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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