I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
