Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
organizing the empties. That sober.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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