There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
