FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
